and so i was brought back to the past yesterday, and the japanese occupation practices were practised on us... but more so me (i personally think this) cos maybe i had some top spy agent secret that the japanese had to find out. haha! yea like where leftenant adnan is or smth haha!
anyhooos, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. yes this is true. but i was THIS CLOSE to being killed as well.. with having to split my two trunks of a leg to something i never thought i could achieve (CHEY ACTION)... i swear if i had grown a dick, it would have split into two as well. IT WAS THE MOST PAINFUL THING I HAVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE (so far). actually i was even considering it to be as painful as being in labour. but i have never been in labour, so it'd be fallacious if i stated it, so... ahhaa.
but anyway, in the midst of all the cries of pain, screams, (and as rahmah informed me), laughter (i know right, the kind of sadistic people in the world.. SIGH) i was asked to think of smth HAPPY. I KNOW RIGHT. THIS EXERCISE IS LIKE A DEMENTOR SUCKING THE SOUL OUT OF ME AND YOU WANT ME TO THINK ABOUT SMTH HAPPY. IM NOT HARRY-POTTER ENOUGH TO DO THAT. but thats not the point. the thing is.. when i was asked to think of smth happy, it was like i was flipping through the pages of my photoalbum (which doesnt exist btw),and of ALL the pictures that i stopped to look at (happy remember?) IT ENDED ON THIS PARTICULAR MEMORY. (insert suspense)
now, you may think, ok normal what. happy moments in your memory are normal. YES. but what if u NEVER THOUGHT of it as a happy moment UNTIL you are strapped to the ground and straining your muscles to the point of infinity. with a manifestation of all these. THEN SUDDENLY, this RANDOM image pops up in your head (at the idea of SOMETHING HAPPY) and then what you feel, above all, is SHOCK. SHOCK! SHOCK! bcos, you go "WHAT ARE THINKING!" (like literally), to yourself.
and it's freaky in that sense.
so, like you wanted, not... i am not going to disclose my vision of a 'happy moment' cos it's rather embarrassing. and im just going to let it pass without punishing myself (psychologically).
and hopefully it will.